Stubborn Dogs
a real-life journey of discovery, acceptance and change…

Posts Tagged ‘depression

Shapeshifting for beginners – my first three weeks on T

June 19, 2010

Three weeks  ago today I had 1000mg 1M of Nebido, a slow-release formulation of testosterone, injected into the top of my right gluteous maximus muscle in my bum. My girlfriend held my hand, and as I felt the sharp prick of the needle and relaxed into a wave of satisfaction, she wept ine the power of […]

Sunny side up is how I want my stress please…

March 30, 2010

It’s hard to be cheerful all the time, with a genuine sunny smile. Some days I really don’t feel like that at all and I shrivel and curl up inside with my jaw grinding as methodically as I breathe. But at least you know that when I smile I mean it, and quite a few […]

Climbing out of the Abyss – part 3b

January 24, 2010

KAPOW!!! KAPOW!!! The next two cartoon sucker punches to my already reeling mind-body-spirit continuum came in quick succession in the middle of my first supervision session with my manager last week. Regular readers will know that I am lucky to have a line-manager who has bent over backwards to make sure that I know I am […]

Back to work

December 13, 2009

Back to work Some more good news by the end of this last week…. I am going back to work on Tuesday! Went to the doc on Thursday and she signed me back fit. We had a discussion about the anti-depressants I’m on and I checked in with her about maintaining the dosage I’m taking. […]

Climbing out of The Abyss – Part 2

November 12, 2009

Today I got my first letter from the Gender Identity Clinic with West London Mental Health NHS Trust. What I’ve been waiting for!!!!!! It’s been three weeks since I last saw my GP. That appointment came a week after my last suicidal thoughts, the day I first spoke about my decision. In the meantime I’ve […]

Climbing out of The Abyss – Part 1

November 5, 2009

It can be a frightening thing when you slip down into the abyss of a deep depression. But when it’s happened time after time in your life, in a strange way it becomes a familiar cave or lair in which to retreat when the threats outside in the world become too much to bear. For me […]

Thank you to everyone!!

November 4, 2009

I want to shout a massive THANK YOU to everyone who has sent me personal messages of support, their thoughts, even a CONGRATULATIONS! It’s very easy in these cynical times to forget the power of basic human solidarity in times of trouble and change. I can feel a warm wave of that fundamentally instinctive feeling […]


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